I had a meeting in New York City on Tuesday, so I decided to surprise my wife Annie and bring her along for a mini-vacation to celebrate our anniversary. Annie is a museum geek in general, but the timing of this trip was perfect because the Museum of Modern Art has just opened an exhibit showcasing the work of Tim Burton, so she was ecstatic.
The first room of the exhibit showcased some of his acrylic-on-black-velvet paintings. I usually associate this medium with bad Elvis paintings from Las Vegas, so it was interesting to see Burton’s whacked sense of shape and color brought out in a darkened room under black light. As I was standing there waiting for my eyes to adjust to the dim light, a woman pushed her way to the front with her camera and started taking photographs with full flash. I’m pretty sure she actually had two flashes on her camera; one pointing at the Burton paintings, and one pointing backwards directly into my eyes.
Rude!
I suppose it’s too much to hope that she is a zombie-console-MMO fan and is reading this and feeling crushing guilt. My only consolation is that her pictures are going to suck, because the flash will totally destroy the effect.
Which brings me to the real focus of this article: the venerable, and highly secretive “Rude Q&A” document.
Rude Q&A is a document that your PR guys (in our case, Steve the PR Guy) prepare when you are about to issue a press release, and it contains every rude question — the questions you hope the editors don’t ask — you can think of. The idea is that you sit down and think of answers to these questions beforehand so you don’t get surprised and say something stupid during an interview, like “Oh, we’re not really thinking about play mechanics right now, because we’re focused on finding new ways to monetize our players…”
Whoops.
In preparation for the announcement of Undead Labs, we also prepared a Rude Q&A document. I know these things are supposed to remain super secret, but the document contains honest questions with honest answers, and I’d like to share it with you. So, here it is, with original answers, and embedded comments on each question.
(Oh and please don’t actually ask me any of these questions kthx.)
Jeff
CONFIDENTIAL – FOR INTERNAL USE ONLY
Undead Labs Studio Announcement Rude Q&A
Q: How many employees does Undead Labs plan to hire?
[Why is this rude? Because if you reply with a small number, you sound like a couple of kids in the garage. If you reply with a large number, you sound fiscally irresponsible and scare off publishers and investors.]
A: We’ll stay relatively small through the winter and spring as we flesh out the design and start building the production pipeline for the game. Starting next summer, we’ll ramp up quickly for preproduction. My expectation is that Undead Labs will have around 50 internal artists, programmers, designers, and production managers onboard during the peak period of development.
Q: What is the name of the game you are developing?
[Why is this rude? Because it can take years to trademark a name, and you don't want to announce the name until everything is buttoned up nice and tight.]
A: Usually the answer to this question in the early stage of development is diversionary because the name has not been determined. My answer will be diversionary because we’re not ready to announce it yet.
Q: Which platform(s) will the game be developed for?
[Why is this rude? Two reasons: 1) if you say "every platform in existence!" you'll live to regret it, because resources, especially engine programmer time, are finite; and 2) unless you are a first-party developer, console publishing can require complex and sensitive business negotiations, and it's usually not a good idea to talk openly about it while they are in progress.]
A: We’ll be developing for high-end game consoles. By today’s standards, “high-end” would include Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3. But the market can change rapidly so we’ll have to see how things look when we are further along in development.
Q: Can you tell us more about the game Undead Labs is developing?
[Why is this rude? Are you serious, man? Developers get slammed all the time for making promises they can't keep. Can you imagine publicly itemizing every "wish list" feature you'd like to have in your game and then shipping with 50% of it? It happens all the time, and it's not pretty.]
A: I really wish I could, but we’ve already broken every rule in the book by announcing we’re making a zombie MMO. Usually new studios are very secretive about what they are working on because they believe their idea is so hot that if it leaks out every other developer out there will jump on it and try to beat them to market. I’m not discounting the need for confidentiality in the business world, but ultimately execution matters at least as much as ideas, and I’m confident in our ability to execute. Having said that, “zombie MMO on the console” is all I can say at this time.
Q: Are there any other partners involved in Undead Labs?
[Why is this rude? Because you might plan never to have partners. Or you might have definitive plans to bring on additional partners in the future, but they are currently at other companies. Or, you might be in sensitive discussions with potential partners at this very moment.]
A: Not at this time.
Q: Will you (Jeff) play an active role in the development of the game? If so, what will it be?
[This one's not really rude, unless you are planning to be a suit for the rest of your life and you just don't want to admit it.]
A: Absolutely! I’ll be the executive producer, and will also write as much code as I can get away with.
Q: When will the game be finished/released?
[C'mon.]
A: If you order it today before 5:00 PM, it should be on your doorstep when you wake up tomorrow morning. Okay, truth is that these things take time. Don’t check back every day. Just file it away in your “future cool stuff” memory, and I promise you’ll know about it when we get closer to release.
Q: Do you have any partnerships in place with Sony/Microsoft/Nintendo?
[See "which platforms?" answer.]
A: Well, since we’ll be making console games, we damn sure better. But there’s nothing to announce on this front right now. Not that it really matters — we’ve been hearing about strategic partnerships, discussions, and intentions about console MMOs forever. We’re not going to add to the noise until we are ready to show you, you know, an actual game.
Q: Will the game carry a subscription model like WoW, or will it be more like Guild Wars?
[Oh gee, this one isn't scary at all, is it? This one is rude because the answer essentially determines not only your business model, but also your game design. Most developers want to leave all options open for as long as possible, and once you make public statements, you are committed forever. It's important to be very honest with this answer, because you have exactly one chance to establish trust with your future fans and customers.]
A: The game will almost certainly be subscription based. I’ve always said that a game should be designed around its business model, and Guild Wars is certainly designed to be a free-to-play online game. In fact, there are hundreds of free-to-play online games on the market today, but some publishers are increasingly relying on micro-transactions, in-game advertising, “premium” accounts, or, at worst, lead-gen scams to generate more profit. I don’t like this nickel-and-dime approach, because it leads to design decisions that are based on something other than what’s most fun for the players. We want to focus on making an MMOZ that is, first and foremost, fun to play. Not a Skinner Box. Not a teaser for more stuff you can buy from us. Not an advertisement for stuff you can buy from someone else. Our singular design focus will be to create a game that is fun to play, and every month we’ll either earn you respect and your money, or we won’t.
Q: Why are you creating a Zombie MMO?
[Not rude, unless asked in the same tone as your athlete-god older brother asking you, "Dude, why do you play those stupid video games all the time?"]
A: We’re creating a zombie MMO because we love zombies! I know zombies are “hot” right now, with tons of mainstream (and mostly well done) books and movies coming out over the last year or so, but nobody has really captured the essence of the post-apocalyptic zombie universe in a game. It’s going to take a full MMO to really do that.
Zombies are fun because they give us an excuse to break all the rules, without guilt. I’m not just talking about over-the-top violence — we’ve got aliens, terrorists, and robots to fulfill those needs — but instead the suspension of rules across the board. Here you are in a huge, rich world as it existed at the height of society, and it’s yours now. Everything. You can do what you want, go where you want, and take what you want. In fact, you have to, if you are going to survive.
Traditional fantasy can be fun too, but at this point it’s been squeezed dry — several times over.
Seriously, if I were to sit down with you and say, “Guess what? I’m building a new studio to make fantasy MMORPGs!” it would take about 10 picoseconds for your eyes to glaze over, and then I’d spend the next hour describing all the esoteric and complicated game mechanics that would differentiate my fantasy MMORPG from every other fantasy MMORPG out there. Look, I’ve been a fantasy fanatic my whole life. There are some truly great fantasy games out there, but there are also a LOT of fantasy games out there, including one in particular that Pretty Well Dominates the genre. Fantasy is well covered territory at this point, and I really don’t think I have much more to contribute there.
Conversely, when I say “Zombie MMO on the console!” people’s eyes light up. In those three words — console, zombie, MMO — people seem to immediately get it. No hour-long discussion of “differentiating features” necessary; those three words suffice. I’ve also been stunned at just how many people — gamers, non-gamers, geeks, and “regular” people — claim to be zombie fans. We’ve all asked ourselves, “What would I do?” while watching a zombie flick. That’s what makes this fun; now you can find out.
Q: Why develop for the console and not the PC (or both simultaneously)?
[Why is this rude? Because it puts you in a "camp," and might cause some gamers to get pissed off and leave. On the other hand, increasingly gamers are omnivorous when it comes to platform, so perhaps this isn't that rude.]
A: Because we love console gaming, and it’s time for a great console MMO! There are scores of MMOs on the PC. There are very few on the console, and exactly zero developed specifically for the console. The first “great” MMO on the console will be built just for console, just as the first “great” FPS for console (Halo, or GoldenEye 007 — take your pick) was built just for console. Nobody wants to see a PC MMO ported to console, with a hybridized design attempting to appeal equally to all players. We’ve been down that path before with other genres, and it doesn’t work. We’re going to make a game designed for console gamers, by console gamers, with the action, streamlined interface, polish, and same-screen cooperative play that console gamers expect
Q: Why did you really leave NCsoft?
[Why is this rude? Well, because it's a question about me, rather than the studio, the team, or the game. But some interviewers think it's important to ask.]
A: Whenever my wife drags me out shopping, I spend my time in the department store thinking about how I could barricade the doors and block the escalators in the event of a zombie attack. When I drive my kids to school, I find myself wondering how many people could survive in the cafeteria, and for how long. When I lock the door of my apartment at night, I find myself being thankful that there is only one door to the hall, but worrying about the windows and door to the patio. In short, I’m a bit… obsessed… with zombies, so I’ve been putting serious thought into what a great zombie MMO would look like.
I’ve been working in the game industry for 14 years, but over the past few I found my career taking me further and further from actual development. Last summer my love of zombies and my desire to return to making games reached critical mass, and I knew it was time to get busy on something new.
Q: How far along are you in development?
[Why is this rude? Because this is all about announcing a new studio, so things are very early, but you don't want to have to say that...]
A: We’re off and running, but that’s all I can say now.
Q: How many employees are at Undead Labs right now?
[This isn't really rude, but it can be hard to answer. In the early life of a studio, many of the initial employees are in various stages of finalizing their relationship with their former employer, so it can take some time before you can answer this question clearly.]
A: We’ll be staffing up soon, but are currently looking for incredibly talented developers who are fanatical about Zombies. We’ll definitely have a home for them at Undead Labs.
Q: Fast zombies, or slow zombies?
[Now this is rude. You think answering "PC or console?" puts you in a camp? This is religion, plain and simple. Still, it's a fair question, because if you are going to claim to be a zombie fan, people have a right to know where you stand.]
A: Let’s get it out on the table; I’m more a fast zombie guy. But I know my roots, too. Casual zombie fans believe that fast zombies are “scarier,” and slow zombies are “funnier.” But the real artistry comes in extracting the menace from slow zombies, and the humor from the fast zombies. Our thinking is that we want both in our game world. In terms of game mechanics, it’s clear that being zombie-motility-agnostic will give us a more diverse toolbox with which to create an interesting and challenging game world.
Q: Is it just a coincidence that you came out with this announcement right after Left 4 Dead 2 was released?
[Well, that's rude! To mention another game when talking to us? And of course it's just coincidence that we'd announce our studio and our focus on the zombie genre just when millions of players are getting their yearly zombie fix with another game, hanging out on online forums, reading news about zombies, um, Googling...]
A: We love Zombie games, and Left 4 Dead 2 looks like a great follow-up to the original. But of course the timing is purely coincidental.
